in light of the shadows

fire

ありがとう

ありがとう is arigato, “thank you” in Japanese.

sunrise sequel

On the last day of my visit home to see my mother, I took one last sunrise photo—my heart filled with gratitude for her return from the hospital and steady recovery… My heart overwhelmed with gratitude for the doctors and nurses, the friends and family who prayed for her recovery, for the ability and support I received from my work to abruptly drop everything and fly across the Pacific to be with my mother, for the healing she received and for her own strong will to heal, for time with my family and our cat, for the ever deepening awareness of just how precious this life is… My heart flooded with the beauty of each and every new sunrise.

The following poem is inspired by and written for my mother, who enjoys gardening and playing the lyre, who loves harvesting the blueberries and baking bread, who delights in feeding the birds and fish and all the little creatures… for my mother, who is a poet and is poetry… for my precious mother, who is the sunrise…

home free

when the sun rises
all the beautiful flowers and butterflies dance
in this garden of life
in this wild symphony of wonder and delight

when the sun rises into the sky
i dance with the swallows
and with the wind
dancing
with no particular path nor purpose
dancing
just for joy
just for the sheer love of dancing
for love itself
and for life
for one another

when the sun rises
we dance wild and we fly
home free


sunrise

I came to realize that my mother is the sunrise. That it was she who created me, and that it was her love that brought me into this world. A fact so simple and so obvious that I had failed to notice it before. Like the air we breathe needs no explanation; we simply breathe. Suddenly, I came to know Gaia. Changing Woman and the beauty of Kinaaldá* came running home, light-footed and swift, to me. The sacred fire of Amaterasu danced inside of me. Women are creators. We are life.
In the beginning, my mother created me.

Each day my mother was in the hospital, I took a photo of the sunrise and sent it to her. It was only after the third or forth day that I realized what I was doing and decided to continue until she was strong enough to come home. And she did come home, finally… after being on the brink of ICU, after IVs and antibiotics, after nasal cannula and swollen legs and a pain which she described as the devil dancing in her body. After she heard a woman’s voice saying that she had come to get her…
But my mother is home now and recovering. And she is rising with the sun each day.

On the first morning my mother was back home from the hospital, I took a photo of the sunrise and sent it SMS to her and then went downstairs and walked into the kitchen. There she was, looking out the window into the garden and enjoying the same sunrise. I gave thanks for her life, and for mine together with hers.
My mother is the sunrise.

*Kinaaldá is a coming of age ceremony in Navajo culture in which girls come to embody the life-giving and healing qualities of Changing Woman (Asdzáá Nádłeehé); they become Changing Woman herself.

imagine

angels and demons
dance together in my dreams
no heaven no hell

I wrote the above haiku and reflection below about two and a half years ago. With the recent outbreak of war between Israel and Hamas, I thought it apropos to share this again. May a world of peace for everyone dawn—pink and soft light over the horizon of darkness.

From Aristotle to Einstein, philosophers, artists and poets over the ages have spoken about the power of imagination. In some regards, it is lamentable that we often perceive knowledge as an accumulation of so-called objective “facts”, and imagination as a kind of unreal world of dreams. But the creation of anything and everything always starts with the imagination. So what then actually, is imagination? Is it not the source of everything?

Since its creation in 1971 by John Lennon and Yoko Ono, the famous song “Imagine” has been invoked worldwide in a shared desire for humanity to transcend differences and to live “life in peace”. You may say that imagining world peace has not created it; however, in the act of imagination, in stating and singing and sharing the dream, are we not creating the real experience of peace within our own hearts and together with others? When we imagine peace, we experience it. Likewise, when we imagine violence, we experience it. What we imagine, we experience. What we imagine, we become.

We are all dreamers—it is our birthright and our true nature. So why not dance and dream together, for a world of peace? We are our dreams. May they be light.

zephyr

Leaning into the wind with my bodyweight of eleven years, I was determined to keep moving forward, one small step at a time. The faraway horizon beckoned like the moon to the sea… while the wind, the relentless wind streamed into this wide and wild valley between snow-covered mountain tops. Steeped in the Himalayas somewhere, I knew, I just knew that if I persisted, that if I listened long and hard enough, I would be able to understand the elusive language of the wind. Something of its power and age-old wisdom would be revealed to my pounding heart and my little soul. Tibet was seemingly just over there, close enough to touch. I would keep walking the path forward, I would keep listening, and someday, surely someday, I would understand wind.

Twenty years later, a fire dance ceremony, Navajo Nation:
We are huddled in the black night, with blankets wrapped snugly around shoulders for warmth. Wind blows cold across my face, then warm smoke and sparks from the burning logs. I have lost track of time as i watch the dancers with as much alertness as possible in the long night, trying to remember patterns, movements, dancers and dresses. Standing next to me is one of the young Diné dancers i have met and talked to not long ago. He is kind, checking to see if i am warm enough. Then he asks if i have noticed the wind. Yes, i reply i have felt that it is cold. But, he inquires, have i noticed how it travels? How it has come from the east, then from the south, west, and finally north? How it has traveled through the long night of dancing? My heart shifts as he so suddenly and so simply shares with me poetry of which i had been illiterate just moments before. And the poetry is in his telling as much as in the traveling of wind. It is softness, a certain warm glow of speaking that belies true love for the poetry of wind. Kinship, and a softness of the heart.

Wind, I would come to realize, is consciousness—the one mind of mother earth in constant motion. Wind connects us all. If we still and settle into our hearts, patiently, we will understand that wind is a beautiful mind moving through us. Our very breath. Life force. Love. And dance, I would come to realize, animates the wind. Like trees, we breathe and are being breathed.

So when all else fails, dance. At the edge of the world and after apocalypse, dance.

zephyr

you are the soft light of pink day
and, you are the song of the sky
in which i, although splintered
still fly
and, still dance
in all my midnight dreams, scattered and sweet

A Proclamation on Indigenous Peoples’ Day, 2023

chrysanthemums

chrysanthemums gold
in sky dreams bold and bright blue
carry my heart home

the present

*art by yours truly

rabbit on the moon